shows · tv

Younger “The Jade Crusade” Recap

Beware The Empiriconda is on the loose!

Lauren and Maggie are in bed. Things are getting HOT! Lauren announces that she is ready to be gender monogamous. Maggie tells her she needs to protect her heart. Lauren asks why because Maggie didn’t protect hers.

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Kelsey and Liza are walking into the office. Kels is nervous about her pitch with Jade Winslow. She is only 25 and she can make or break you. It’s time for the meeting. Kels introduces Liza to Redmund, Jade’s agent. She isn’t ready yet. Twitter feud with Karl Lagerfeld. She will be coming out with a tell all and she won’t hold back. The meeting is cut short. Hopefully Jade makes the right decision. Diana rushes out. She calls Liza and sees this.

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Charles walks in. He says they have a small matter to deal with. It’s not small.  AWKWARD. Damn humidity and thin fabric.!

Don’t worry Charles, Diana will get if off…I mean down. She will get the picture taken down somehow. And by she I mean Liza. Liza calls Lauren for help. The owner of freeballin.net owes her a favor so it will be taken down soon. All Lauren asks is for Liza to put in a good word for her to Maggie. Damn 2 more sites picked it up and it has a name now. The Empiriconda is born.

Liza is at home with Maggie. She is telling her about everything and what a help Lauren was. Liza remembers the good old days when she could take an embarrassing picture and not have to worry about it going on the internet. The world used to be so simple. /but can you really imagine a world with out Twitter or Facebook.

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Meanwhile, Maggie is stalking BELINDA… on Facebook. How could anyone not want to be with Maggie right? Her loss.

Kelsey tells Liza that she went all in and put in her offer. $250,000! Damn! How can Jade pass up an offer like that. She isn’t immediately accepting. She doesn’t think Kelsey is fun! WHAT??

Jade wants them to go out to see if she can be fun. Party time. Kels is killing it in her crop top. Jade approves of Thad! Yes he is HOTTTT!!! Tell us something we don’t know. She asks if Josh is coming. Wait did I miss something? How does she know Josh? Josh is finally there. Yay! Or maybe Nay! Jade sees him and throws a drink at him. Josh you got some splaining to do.

Josh admits that he dated Jade for a couple of months. He says she is bat shit crazy. She climbed up his fire escape…literally. He needed a way to end their relationship. So, when she took him to a fashion party he hooked up with another  girl. Everyone is blaming Josh.

Kels tells Liza that they lost the deal to Harper Collins. There is no quitting in baseball…or publishing. You know what I mean. Liza comes up with a plan. They kidnap Jade and Josh is there too. He apologizes. There does that make it better?

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Well it’s definitely progress because she is thinking about the offer.

It’s time for the 24th Annual Women in Literature Charity Honors event. Redmund is there and tells the girls that Jade has agreed to sign with them. HELL YEAH. He asks if it’s okay if she tweets about it. Of course! Why did she attach a picture? The Empiriconda is back.

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And it’s too late to take it down because Rihanna has already retweeted it. Let’s just say the women are thinking about something else at the award ceremony. Sorry Charles.

-Perfectly Perez

 

 

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